Why Do Men Cheat Instead of Just Leaving The Relationship?

  ByMathew Hussey

Q. “If you don’t love someone anymore, why don’t you just end the relationship before cheating???”


1. The Psychology behind it:

- We get addicted to comfort as human beings – being in a relationship is just another form of comfort we can’t let go of, even when we’re not in love with the person we are with.
- Leaving a person is scary. Even if we’re not in love we can fear that the alternative (being alone!) may be worse
- Most people aren’t courageous enough to leave until they realize they have options. The catch-22 is that most people only realize they have options once they’ve already cheated and the damage is done.

2. What to do about it:
A. If you know he doesn’t love you because he’s told you, be big enough to leave even if he won’t. We need to be better than to stay in a situation which doesn’t meet our standards. REMEMBER: Just because he’s being a coward doesn’t mean you should be too.
B. If he hasn’t said explicitly that he doesn’t love you anymore, but you sense it, talk to him calmly about the fact that you sense he is acting differently. Make it OK for him to feel differently, and don’t get caught up in the emotion of it. Even if he doesn’t admit it and disagrees, you have shown that you sense a change, and given him a chance to do something about it.
C. If over time the relationship continues to fall beneath your standards you will be able to make a final decision which won’t suddenly come as a surprise to him because he had an opportunity to change it.

Quick Love Life Happiness tip:
There’s no doubt that cheating is wrong, but we have to understand that most times it comes from a place of insecurity in our partner, not them searching for someone better. Once we understand this, we can see it as their weakness, instead of something that is wrong with us.
I hope you enjoyed the first week! We’ll be back next week with another answer to your biggest questions! Please leave a comment underneath to let us know how this week’s answer affected/relates to you!
Your coach and friend
Matthew x

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