The article basically talks about women and the reasons they stay in relationship with men who cheat on them. It is a sad fact that most men DO cheat. Note well I didnt say that all men cheat. There ARE those men out there who understand that basically you shouldn't dish out what you do not want in relationships and so they tend to be the ones to love and respect their girlfriends and wives enough to not to hurt or open them to risks (eg STD's ) by cheating.

Most of us women will deny staying with a man who has cheated on us in one form or another, some of us would claim out right that we never knew that he cheated until that one time we found out and so we left. Then there are those of us who would say that we knew he was a cheater but he treated us well. Still some of us would say yes we saw signs but we never tried to find out because we didn't want to KNOW, even though all our girl friends and everyone else seemed to KNOW. A million and one reasons but the fact remains at the end of the day most women are going to forgive a man after he has cheated some over and over and over again. Let's not lie to ourselves we know this to be a fact. Some of us have grown up with mothers and so called 'step-mothers', Daddy spends one night with Mommy and the other by Ms So and So and everyone knows. We go to school with our brothers and sisters who are our own age and they see 'Daddy' as often as we do, so does their mother. How does that work out? Some families even have picnics and dinners together- Mom, Dad children Dad's outside woman (who no one admits is his outside woman of course). Is it that the man isn't seen as cheating after all which woman is he cheating on?

So there are basically two sets of women at the end of the day, those who end up with their husband's dirty boxers hanging on the neighbour's clothes lines for the world to see and those who end up washing it for him in the privacy of their own space. Yet both tend to stick around, this article just explores some of the reasons why.

Enjoy.




Stand by your cheating man or kick him to the curb? It's not a decision any woman wants to make, but what many have endured after their philandering mates were caught. This Lifescript exclusive digs deep to discover why so many wives choose to stick it out…
They all do it: celebrities, politicians, even the hubby next door.
Sure, the names of the cheaters change: Think Kobe Bryant, Mark Sanford, John Ensign, Bill Clinton, John Edwards.
But the story’s the same: Husband cheats, gets caught. Wife grimaces, then bears it.
In fact, up to 75% of couples rocked by an affair stay together, according to research by Peggy Vaughan, author of Preventing Affairs: You Can Have a Monogamous Marriage, But Not by Just Assuming You're Immune(Dialog Press).That so many wronged spouses managed to turn the other cheek is admirable to some, you can’t help but wonder: Why didn’t they push their wandering mates out the door?
Lifescript talked to women and experts to find out why beleaguered wives choose to stand by their men. Here’s what they told us:
1. She doesn’t want to be alone.
When your husband takes up with a prettier, shapelier – perhaps even younger – woman, it doesn’t inspire confidence that you still got it goin’ on.

Insecurity can be enough of a glue to stick with a marriage.
“Fear of being alone keeps people in all kinds of horrible situations and relationships,” says life coach Lauren Mackler, author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness and Transform Your Life (Hay House, 2009) and host of “Lauren’s Life Keys” on Hay House Radio.

Women are more afraid of going solo than men are, she says.

“That comes from believing that they need a man to take care of them. Even though we’ve come a long way, many messages still tell us that.”
2. Her finances take a hit.
“Women’s greatest fear is they’ll become bag ladies,” says Gilda Carle, Ph.D., creator of DrGilda.com and author of He’s Not All That (Collins). “In their minds, they’d be leaving him for a life of poverty just because he’s been cavorting elsewhere.”
It’s not a completely unfounded fear: A woman is likely to draw the short financial straw in a divorce.

An ex-wife’s standard of living drops more than 25%, studies show. They’re also more likely to lose other essentials, such as health insurance and their homes.
3. He’s not perfect.
An affair “may not be a deal breaker,” explains Michele Sugg, a certified sex therapist in Branford, Conn.

“We tend to think that once a slippery bit has slid into someone else’s slippery bit, it’s the end of a relationship.”
But that’s what newlyweds think, says Brown University psychiatrist Scott Haltzman, M.D., author of The Secrets of Happily Married Women and The Secrets of Happy Families (both Wiley).
“As people live, age and grow together, they recognize that they have to give up the dreams of the perfect spouse,” he says. They know their mate eventually will disappoint them.
4. Her professional status is tied to his.
Many educated women still put their careers second, behind their husband's. If you’ve been known as Mr. Big Shot’s Wife, leaving that relationship may close doors professionally.

“A wife can lose her status because of divorce,” Haltzman says. “If you’re married to a governor, you’re a governor’s wife.” Otherwise, you’re just his ex-wife.
5. She’ll lose friends.
Adding insult to injury, a divorcing wife risks breaking up her social circle as well, especially if it was exclusively other married couples.
Sad but true: A solo woman is considered a threat to the stability of other relationships and married friends often pull away.
“If you live in a community where marriage is touted and single women are shunned, do you want to become an outcast because your husband did this?” asks Susan Shapiro Barash, author of Little White Lies, Deep Dark Secrets: The Truth About Why Women Lie (St. Martin’s Press).

6. Her family is against divorce.
Natalie (her name is changed to protect her privacy) was recently wed and newly pregnant when she discovered her husband had three other women on the side.
For 13 years, the manager of a California nonprofit toughed out countless infidelities before she finally filed for divorce.
Even then, her decision didn’t sit well with her traditional Catholic family. They believed, as do many cultures, that it’s up to the woman to keep a marriage together — whatever the cost.
Her family and in-laws cursed her. “My mother disowned me,” Natalie says.
For five years, her family pressured her to go back to her husband. Her ex lobbied hard, too, getting down on his knees and swearing he’d never stray again.
“I said, ‘Yes,’ because I could see my three kids were hoping I’d give their daddy a chance.”
But even all the family pressure couldn’t keep her marriage together in the end.

“One day he left his pager at home and there was a strange number on it,” Natalie says. “I thought, Not again.”
The incident reaffirmed her first decision and this time she left for good. “I was angry and resentful because I allowed myself to get hurt again. And my children were devastated.”
7. She’s emotionally invested in her man.
For many women, their husbands are an essential part of the family tapestry and disentangling it would be devastating.
“Over their lifetimes, these women can see their men for the contributions they’ve made, for the role they play in their lives, in their families,” Haltzman explains.
So they think hard before throwing it away.

“Women struggle to see the whole picture,” he says, and try to figure out if their husband’s stupid mistake will dissolve the family or help it endure and grow.
Of course, a woman is more likely to take this view if it’s a one-time tryst rather than an extracurricular relationship or pattern of infidelity that’s gone on for years.
That was the case with Deb (identified by her first name only for privacy). She learned that her husband had slept with one of her girlfriends shortly after she gave birth to their second child.
The Arkansas radio host thought about leaving him but decided to stay.
Now, 17 years later, they’re about to celebrate their 21st wedding anniversary.
“I thought, I invested my time with this man and we have two kids. I worked through the denial, the anger, the hatred and I just tried to put it behind me.”

But she hasn’t forgotten it — or let him.
“Is there a smidgen of me that wouldn’t like to choke his neck? Yes. And I’ll carry that around for the rest of my life.”
8. She has a hidden agenda.
Consider Hillary Clinton, who stiff-upper-lipped it through Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, and Monica Lewinsky because she had her own political aspirations:
“She must have thought, It’s better to stay married because if I divorce, I’ll still have this albatross around my neck and I might not get what I want at the end,” says sex and relationship therapist Stephanie Buehler, Psy.D., director of the Buehler Institute in Irvine, Calif.
This devil’s bargain can pay off, if you make it with eyes open and a clear head.
It doesn’t work “when we stay out of fear or low self-esteem because that causes suffering,” Mackler says.
When does it work? When there are benefits to staying and you feel good about them, she says. “Then who cares?”

9. Infidelity could make the marriage stronger.
An ordeal like this could improve your relationship. If you’re both willing, therapists say, an affair can get you talking about those long-avoided issues – sex, money, careers, housework, emotional distance.
If there’s a foundation of friendship and love, you can use this crisis as an opportunity to understand what’s not working in the relationship and take some action to fix it,” Mackler says.
That will take work and perhaps couples therapy, but in the end, you both may grow closer and your relationship stronger.

And who wouldn’t stick around for that?
Norine Dworkin-McDaniel, a frequent contributor to Lifescript, writes about health, relationships and sexuality for national magazines, including Marie Claire, Family Circle and Prevention.
Will He Cheat? Rate the Risk?
It's thought that about 60% of men cheat on their partners - and 70% of wives don't have a clue. Is your guy ever-true... or a sneaky cheat? “If there’s a foundation of friendship and love, you can use this crisis as an opportunity to understand what’s not working in the relationship and take some action to fix it,” Mackler says.
That will take work and perhaps couples therapy, but in the end, you both may grow closer and your relationship stronger.

And who wouldn’t stick around for that?
Norine Dworkin-McDaniel, a frequent contributor to Lifescript, writes about health, relationships and sexuality for national magazines, including Marie Claire, Family Circle and Prevention.
Will He Cheat? Rate the Risk?
It's thought that about 60% of men cheat on their partners - and 70% of wives don't have a clue. Is your guy ever-true... or a sneaky cheat? Take ourcheating quiz to find out.
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