Alpha females, the theory goes, get a bum deal because men are biologically hard-wired to avoid successful partners for the fear of being cheated on.
A 2004 study by psychologists at the University of Michigan found that high status men preferred to marry their secretaries rather than colleagues.
Dr Stephanie Brown, a social psychologist who reported the results in the Journal Of Evolution And Human Behaviour, said: 'These findings provide empirical support for the widespread belief that powerful women are at a disadvantage in the marriage market because men may prefer to marry less accomplished women.'
To make matters worse, a study published a few months ago by the Centre of Longitudinal Studies in London estimates that 40 per cent of female graduates born in 1970 are likely to enter their 40s single.
So the lonely life known as 'sologamy' may be the price that high-achieving women have to pay.
New York Times journalist Maureen Dowd inspired a lot of vitriol recently when she wrote: 'The aroma of male power is an aphrodisiac for women - but the perfume of female power is a turnoff for men.
'It took women a few decades to realise that everything they were doing to advance themselves in the boardroom could be sabotaging their chances in the bedroom.'
So can these women escape the pattern of picking Mr Wrong time and again?
Self-awareness seems to be the main ticket out of this emotional mire - learning that the kind of powerful man who makes you laugh, but also tells you you're 5lb too fat and you can't cook is really not the man for you.
My abandoned friend in Paris coped with her own emotional disaster by teaching herself to think the way abused women in shelters are told to think: by constantly reminding herself of just what an unpleasant piece of work her child's father was.
'I just remember everything bad he did; how every weekend he graced me with ten minutes of attention at breakfast before he went back to reading and sleeping the rest of the time,' she says. 'And then I feel a lot better about the fact that he left me.
She at least is finding the strength to get over that disastrous affair. But the question remains as to why she allowed herself to get into it in the first place.
Maybe high-achieving women just strive harder - and relationships are no exception? Easy just doesn't feel right for them.
But in searching for a strong man whom they feel will be their equal, they often mistake bullying, or charm, for strength.
Maybe that's why so many brilliant woman are so lonely.
Article originally posted here:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1020798/Why-DO-clever-women-fall-second-rate-men.html
A 2004 study by psychologists at the University of Michigan found that high status men preferred to marry their secretaries rather than colleagues.
Dr Stephanie Brown, a social psychologist who reported the results in the Journal Of Evolution And Human Behaviour, said: 'These findings provide empirical support for the widespread belief that powerful women are at a disadvantage in the marriage market because men may prefer to marry less accomplished women.'
To make matters worse, a study published a few months ago by the Centre of Longitudinal Studies in London estimates that 40 per cent of female graduates born in 1970 are likely to enter their 40s single.
So the lonely life known as 'sologamy' may be the price that high-achieving women have to pay.
New York Times journalist Maureen Dowd inspired a lot of vitriol recently when she wrote: 'The aroma of male power is an aphrodisiac for women - but the perfume of female power is a turnoff for men.
'It took women a few decades to realise that everything they were doing to advance themselves in the boardroom could be sabotaging their chances in the bedroom.'
So can these women escape the pattern of picking Mr Wrong time and again?
Self-awareness seems to be the main ticket out of this emotional mire - learning that the kind of powerful man who makes you laugh, but also tells you you're 5lb too fat and you can't cook is really not the man for you.
My abandoned friend in Paris coped with her own emotional disaster by teaching herself to think the way abused women in shelters are told to think: by constantly reminding herself of just what an unpleasant piece of work her child's father was.
'I just remember everything bad he did; how every weekend he graced me with ten minutes of attention at breakfast before he went back to reading and sleeping the rest of the time,' she says. 'And then I feel a lot better about the fact that he left me.
She at least is finding the strength to get over that disastrous affair. But the question remains as to why she allowed herself to get into it in the first place.
Maybe high-achieving women just strive harder - and relationships are no exception? Easy just doesn't feel right for them.
But in searching for a strong man whom they feel will be their equal, they often mistake bullying, or charm, for strength.
Maybe that's why so many brilliant woman are so lonely.
Article originally posted here:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1020798/Why-DO-clever-women-fall-second-rate-men.html
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