3 Responses so far.

1. 

   Unknown says:

   July 15, 2012 at 9:41 PM

   Are men deep thinkers? Well, I think another way to phrase the question would be: Do men feel the need to think deeply (about initiating relationships)? This is how I understand your post. I think what you're suggesting is that men are more interested in sex than in having a relationship and they agree to start a relationship only to appease their female partners. If this is indeed the case then there isn't really much thinking or analysis required on the man's part.
   
   It's not hard to imagine a man, especially a young man being primarily motivated by sex as youth is about exploration and learning. But as people age and mature the needs and desires may change also and a man who previously played the field may later decide that he's ready for something more substantial. In that scenario I suspect he'd be a lot more diligent with regard to the type of partners he looks for and the issues that need to be considered in a healthy relationship. Although we look down on men "playing the field", I think it may very well be an integral part of our development because as people we have a hard time deciding what we want until we experience it. So what youthful explorations probably does is allow the individuals to get to know themselves better and how relationships work in general which would prepare them for more serious relationships later.
   
   So basically what I am proposing is that maybe whether a man thinks deeply or not about a relationship would depend on his objective. If he's just interested in sex then there isn't much to think about more than playing along and getting the woman into bed but for a serious relationship he's give it some thought.
   
   
   You did say that your friend's experience has been different to yours and seeing as they're both

2. 

   Dr. Rose-Ann Smith says:

   July 17, 2012 at 7:47 AM

   It is very sad though that this youthful exploration seems to last a lifetime in some men's lives. I do agree that it depends on what the man is interested in, for example whether or not he is looking for wife material versus a sexual partner whom he needs to convince she is the 'one' until he gets what he wants. I also think they think deep based on the type of lady they are approaching as the character of some women demands a man to think deep on how to approach her and keep her interesting in him.
   Concerning the other part of the question on labelling a relationship, why should she reach the point of asking him to label? Is he shy? If not I don't think you should have to ask and I think having to ask says a lot. He should be coming after you not the other way around. For me, I'll change my tactics, minimize the time I spent with him and see if he would ask me what is happening so I can move in the direction of questioning him about what we have if I really need to.

3. 

   Unknown says:

   July 18, 2012 at 10:32 PM

   First of all, my apologies for the unfinished sentence. I thought I deleted it but alas, I hadn't.
   
   I think that Rose-Ann raised a great point that the type of women can determine how a man approaches her. The initial meetings can help set the tone for what is expected and how they'd interact.
   
   I suspect that a lot of men think that women are easy push overs but I think that more and more they are realizing that that's not always the case. The balance of power is shifting as more and more women are asserting themselves and their independence. They expect to be treated as equals and if a man is unable to handle that then he may find himself being left behind.
   
   But in the end it takes two to tango. You usually get the minimum you're willing to accept. So if women put up with guys who are shallow then there's little motivation to change but when the bar is raised we jump to reach it!