It is so much easier to say I leave past hurts in the past than to actually do so.

We are all humans and it is possible to forgive someone for almost anything but it is near impossible to forget the actual thing itself.  You can forget someone stealing your pencil in primary school but it is not that easy to forget someone stealing the love of your life.


Past hurts and disappointments from relationships have a way of always tagging along with us and barging into new relationships, that is if we let them. The ability to treat each new relationship as if it were our first is one that comes with a lot of hard work and practice. Until we are able to do this though we usually find ourselves walking one of two roads the "leave him before he leaves me" road or the "push him away 'cause he would leave soon enough anyways " road.

The "leave him before he leaves me" road perhaps has less travellers...I am not too sure. Anyways this is the road where all the women who bail out on relationship meet to exchange stories.  Our first love ended up leaving us so now when we meet a guy and things are going 'fine' we begin to question his motives and before we know it we are walking away from a good relationship because uh uh he cant be so nice he MUST be doing things.  So before these things are revealed to us and we end up being hurt again , before they become known to us we leave.

The "push him away 'cause he would leave soon anyways" road in my opinion is the easiest one to travel on so I figure it must be crowded. This road is filled with all the women who just 'test' their men. Start fights to see if he would leave, accuse him or seeing other women to see how he reacts, put other women to call him to see what he does, nag him about something little to see how much he can really put up with.  The thing is we do it all to see if he is really willing to stand with  us through thick and thin, if he has what it takes to be that be better than that guy, the one whose name we hate to mention.  Sadly though he too is human and not many people can handle the tests of decades when delivered to them in a 3 month relationship. So he crumbles and he leaves because he figures we are just too much to handle and we laugh triumphantly because we have proven he was just like the others.  Really now was he, or did we simply do all the things we know would push a man away and sure enough they worked?

Like I said earlier getting over these destructive habits is never easy, it takes a lot of soul searching, character building and I guess even more bad experiences.  We just have to try to identify the things that we do wrong are we building healthy relationships or are we simply bent on proving that the relationships we get into are not health.

Might seem like an odd thing to say but seriously some of us are more concerned about proving the man won't stay than about anything else.