A friend of mine told me recently if you don't find a man where you are don't bother coming home to look for one, but it seems that there is a hardly anywhere left to look for all around the world women are saying the same thing, 'there are no men available".

There are obvious reasons for this in some cases because worldwide women out number men except perhaps in China but they are beginning to see the error in their one child policy, hmm maybe that's where we need to go to find men. Then there is the fact that some men are married, and some just are not into women.

For the single woman the pickings are slim and for women who have spent years in school acquiring degrees upon degrees the pickings are even slimmer.  Some of us are still hang up on the ideals of the past, compatibility is only possible for us if our spouse earns more and is equally or better educated. Then we become bitter, angry, puzzled when men who we consider compatible mates marry women who are in our eyes less successful than we are and so should marry a man less successful than the ones we are eyeing.  Some of us are waking up though and we are quickly realizing that compatibility goes beyond pay cheques and degrees. This fact rings home hardest when we take a good look at the so called successful men.

It appears to me that the more successful some men become the more they desire a woman who praises and glorifies their success, supporting them seems never to be enough they seem to want nothing short of worship.  Simply put a woman who has attained the same academic level of her spouse sees herself as his equal and some men are actually intimidated by this, perhaps they fear that at any moment she can take flight and better her academic achievements.

It is sad that at the end of the day there seems to be no solution to this dilemma or is there. Can we count on men to grow some spine and to understand that a spouse who is more successful is not a threat but perhaps a better mate and can we rely on women to look beyond the material things and see a good man for what he is- a good man? 

There was a time when I too wanted the ideal, a man who is one year older and who is far more successful than I am, then I asked myself why are you in school for this long, is it not to be self sufficient. I began to question the issue of compatibility, now I just want a man who is good with his hands a mechanic or a computer technician, I figure that's what I need, not money, I need a man who at 2am when I am working on my papers and my computer crashes he can say a little more than "Honey it would be OK". I want a man who when in the middle of traffic my car breaks down he can say, "Darling I am on my way". That's my Prince Charming not a man to buy me things, because I am working on that, a man who can help me in the areas I actually need help in.


Isn't that what a help mate is for?