Had to share this...
I am always amazed by the fact that so many people believe that no matter the condition of the relationship they are in it is a 'blessing' from God, that this man/woman who wipes the floor with them was chosen for them by God.
We are so often afraid to be happy, or think we do not deserve be happy that we find the most ridiculous explanations to stay in relationships that leave us unfulfilled, and hurt.
Then we end up raising children who grow up to be just like us, afraid of their shadows, children who believe that they too are not worthy of happiness...until one day, by some miracle, the cycle ends.
We worry so much about what people might think that we end up paralyzing ourselves...sometimes literally.
Know that you are worth it.
Know that you deserve to be happy, and to be cherished.
You don't have to stay in abusive relationships
Published: Friday, June 28, 2013 at 11:59 a.m.
Last Modified: Friday, June 28, 2013 at 11:59 a.m.
As a Christian, you are only obligated to forgive them, not to stay in the abuse. By staying in an abusive relationship you are communicating to the abuser that you are okay with the way they are treating you. Jesus came to bring salvation, but that's not all. He came to heal the brokenhearted, bring deliverance to the captives and to liberate them that are bruised, according to Luke 4:18-19.
There are many people walking around in society that may not be bruised on the outside but are bruised on the inside. Maybe no one has ever told you that you are precious to God. In fact, you are so precious that he came to give you a new life and deliver all those who are in abusive and destructive relationships, according to John 10:10.
Being a Christian does not mean you are obligated to stay in the abuse. Don't let anyone convince you that allowing people to beat up on you spiritually, mentally, emotionally or physically makes you a “good” Christian. Nowhere in the scriptures does it say that God puts his approval on abuse. If we are a new creation in Christ, that means that we have his nature, according to 2 Corinthians 5:17. So how can we excuse or justify any type of ill-treatment?
Why do we allow people to mistreat us? Unworthiness is a key factor. Children who are raised in abusive homes, especially with alcohol and drug abuse, often grow up with some emotional issues. They tend to view things differently than others. A child may grow up with a strong tendency to abuse or remain the victim in every relationship until he or she gets the help they need.
2 Corinthians 11: 19-20 says, “After all, you think you are so wise, but you enjoy putting up with fools! You put up with it when someone enslaves you, takes everything you have, takes advantage of you, takes control of everything, and slaps you in the face.” God does not want you to put up with abuse; it will only destroy you.
While on the earth, Jesus took any and all abuse on our behalf. There's no reason whatsoever for you to be mistreated by anyone for anything at any time. It has absolutely no redemptive value. Abuse degrades and humiliates the victim and all those who witness it.
People stay in unhealthy relationships because they are afraid and are hoping things will change, but they seldom do. In fact, the situation often gets worse. Today is a new day. Give yourself permission to dream again and move into a new direction for your life.
Look to the Lord for strength, he is with you and for you, according to Psalms 118:14.
Pamela Boudreaux is an author, columnist, church overseer, Christian life coach and minister with a master's in theology. She served as founder and senior pastor of Breakthrough Believers in Houma 1998-2013. She can be reached at 860-6500 orpamela_boudreaux@att.net.
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